stuff i watched 23 Jun 2020

[tabacoychanel]

The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu Watched it with Middle Sister and by the end of it we had both fallen off the couch and were literally rolling around the floor from squeeing so hard. You know when there’s a piece of media and it was clearly made for you, with you as the target audience? This was it. I read on tumblr that the autobiographical impetus for the screenplay was Alice Wu’s own experience coming out as queer in a small town: The worst blow she ever weathered was not romantic in nature, but the loss of her best friend (a boy) whose new girlfriend was suspicious of their bond. Y’all, it’s so good. I mean Leah Lewis doesn’t speak Mandarin at all and it shows, but whatever, most people who watch this aren’t going to speak Mandarin and I am so grateful for the portrayal of a protagonist who doesn’t undergo a dramatic change over the course of the film. I mean Ellie befriends Paul—that’s it, that’s the film—but it’s not like she changes at all. She’s still the same person: still weird, still awkward, doesn’t fit in. Also Daniel Diemer’s FACE is like 60% of what makes this movie good. Ahhhh the five-spice sausages!!! The yogurt drinks!!! I’m sorry I’m incoherent but this move has slain me.

Labyrinth (1986) dir. Jim Henson This was apparently very formative for my husband growing up; he knows all the dialogue backwards and forwards but he knows it in Italian so this was the first time he watched in English. David Bowie plays a real bastard twink of a Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly plays an ingenue girl whose escapist tendencies are validated, not ridiculed, by the narrative. I confess it was too campy for me. My husband is judging me so hard for my taste but idgaf, I still remember the time he dragged me to It (Part 1) in theaters and I cowered in my seat the entire time. I made him go with someone else when It (Part 2) came out.

The Fast and the Furious (2001) dir. Rob Cohen Serious question why was there even a love interest? She was hot but why did she exist? Paul Walker and Vin Diesel had chemistry through the fucking roof. The reason I watched this 20 years late was because I wanted to read more of astolat’s fic (also the reason I read Master and Commander lol) so imma do that now.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) dir. Joe & Anthony Russo (rewatch x3) Favorite MCU movie, favorite forever, just heart eyes all around.

Shazam! (2019) dir. David F. Sandberg (rewatch x3) Why yes, this movie did come out last year and yes, I have seen it three times: Once withmeretricula , once with my husband, once with both my little sisters + my dad. I am happy to report that EVERYBODY derived a similar level of enjoyment from this firecracker of a superhero film and that level was HIGH. I don’t think we all enjoyed it for the same reasons, mind; Littlest Sister is eleven and she immediately glommed onto the villain-origin-story and started drawing Harry Potter parallels; but Middle Sister was with me, and I was here for the kids and the found family dynamic. I think my dad was mostly confused about why middle schoolers and high schoolers were attending the same school.

Summerfield (1977) dir. Ken Hannam Creepy Australian indie film was atmospheric af.

The Departed (2006) dir. Martin Scoresese (rewatch) Mark Wahlberg is in this movie for maybe 20 minutes but he is absolutely the standout for me. I found it 10x funnier on a rewatch. The reason all cops are bastards is because the police and the mafia are both corrupt systems, rotten to their cores, and that’s the thesis of this film my god idk why it took me so long to notice.

Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde The prettiest film I have ever seen in my life. My main beef with this adaptation is Emma herself comes off as almost…catty? Instead of misguided and naive. You’re supposed to be on her side, and I wasn’t. YMMV. Not super impressed with Mr. Knightley either but cards on the table here, Emma is not my favorite Austen so my bias is showing. The fact that de Wilde managed to make Mr. Elton’s proposal scene pathetic (as in you felt bad for Mr. Elton) rather than smarmy (as in you felt bad for Emma)— that did impress me.

To All the Boys PS I Still Love You (2019) dir. Susan Johnson An unobjectionable and entirely forgettable sequel that my sister and I were contractually obligated to watch together because we (collectively) found the first movie so relatable.

The Last Kingdom S4

The Last Kingdom is a historical drama set in 10th century England about people who have to make impossible choices between conflicting loyalties: Are you a Christian or a pagan? Are you a Saxon or a Dane? Do you choose to uphold your oaths & your honor, or the bonds of blood & kinship? Save your child or save your other child? Your king or your conscience? The main character, Uhtred, is a Saxon by birth but a Dane by adoption; he was baptized but these days he wears the hammer of Thor. I was worried at the end of S3 that the departure of Alfred would leave us without a Lawful pole for Uhtred to expend his Chaotic dumbass energy against and to my immense relief that did not happen—S4 was dynamite. S4 is about fathers and sons: Uhtred and Young Uhtred, Beocca and Uhtred, Aelfric and Witger, Edward and Aethelstan, Cnut and his twin sons. When Young Uhtred finally said “My name is Uhtred of Bebbanburg” I got chills, literal chills.

SPOILERIFIC THOUGHTS

• Saw this coming: Witger shooting his father instead of Uhtred; Beocca sacrificing himself for Young Uhtred; Brida killing Cnut personally.


• Uhtred: My whole family was taken from me. Without Beocca I have no home.


• Brida to Uhtred: Send me to Valhalla.


• Aethelred: I wish you had been as faithful to me as you were to Mercia. To live without being loved is torture. —> Toby Regbo is acting the hell out of this scene and this role generally. I love him sfm.


• I don’t like the Welsh costume choices they ugly af.


• Uhtred to Aethelflaed: Edward’s authority is under threat and men under threat do not always act with wisdom.


• Eadith fomenting Aethelflaed’s escape—love to see it!!!! Solidarity amongst women who are bartered their whole lives like chess pieces.


• Uhtred to Aethelflaed: Lady, Mercia has abandoned you. —> YO THAT’S MY SHIP. That’s my ship and it’s being dashed into tiny pieces of driftwood before my eyes. This is fine. I am fine.


• Aethelflaed: If you are asking me to choose between a ruler who is best for Mercia or who is best for me, I will choose one who is best for Mercia.


• Uhtred, to Pyrlig, on the baptism: Is my word not enough? —> ahhhh that’s the thing though, his word has never been enough. Doubt and suspicion follows him everywhere and he’s fucking sick of it.


• Uhtred, after they take his daughter hostage: They will not take what is not theirs, not as long as I live.


• Stiorra’s convo with Sigtrygg’s convo is everything omg: My father has never betrayed anyone. He was often torn between those who loved him as their own and those of his blood.


• SIgtrygg’s “the king is not a decisive man” is the understatement of the century lmao.


• Brida went full Darth Vader in the finale holy shit

The Vampire Diaries S1 through mid-S5

Back in the day when it first aired I caught a few episodes and was underwhelmed. Watching it now two things stand out: 1) The soundtrack: the whole show serves as a time capsule of what was current in 2000’s/early 2010’s music and it’s equal parts cringe- and nostalgia-inducing. 2) I do not think there is another show in existence whose writing is so good and whose acting is so bad. It’s not across-the-board bad; it’s just the actors have no range and some of them are even playing multiple characters because a bunch of the leads have evil dopplegangers. It’s more noticeable than it ought to be that the writers of this show are cleverer than the characters, is what I’m saying.

The Vampire Diaries is the story of a girl next door who falls in love with two brothers and has to choose between them. Plot happens (it goes on for 8 seasons oof) but the plot is not pertinent to the central conflict which is 1 girl, 2 brothers. I prefer my love triangles more, er, equilateral I guess—I care about Damon/Elena and Damon & Stefan but Stefan/Elena just puts me right to sleep. Actually a good 70% of this show puts me to sleep but the parts that don’t sure pack a helluva punch. It could have done more with the setting—instead of a specific place with a specific history we have Genericville, USA—but that’s a minor quibble. My favorite character is blonde bimbo turned the The Most Loyal Hufflepuff Who Ever Lived, Caroline Forbes. Didn’t even notice her in S1 (“I try so hard. Elena doesn’t even try and he picks her”) but from S2 on Caroline has owned the whole of my heart. I can see why Caroline/Klaus is the most popular ship in this fandom but I’m not really here for the ships—any ships. I’m extremely fond of Damon but not in a way that I ship him with Elena or Bonnie or anyone else. I’m here for the Alaric & Daemon brotp. I’m here for Daemon playing video games with Jeremy and later, Daemon teaching Jeremy how to be a vampire hunter. I’m here for the Mikaelsons being such a fantastic foil to the Salvatores, as a family. I’m here for Damon and Stefan who can’t be in the same room without brawling but the second they perceive an external threat (eg. Mason Lockwood) they turn and fight back-to-back. Note to Elena: If two hot boys who were both in love with me signed over the deed to their house I would not bother with the boys but I would definitely keep the house.

SPOILERIFIC lines that hit me hard:

• Vicki: If I wanted to be treated like trash I’d go back to Tyler.


• Elena is huge on trust; Stefan keeps everything he possibly can from her. This is not a recipe for a functioning relationship.


• Damon, not Stefan, is the one who steps up to erase Jeremy’s memories of Vicki’s murder. Stefan is righteous where Damon wears his reputation like a shield. Won’t take credit for his good acts.


• Caroline: I’m worse than shallow I’m a kiddie pool.


• Caroline: You ever feel like there’s not a person in the world that loves you?


• Stefan: Why are you trying to save him? Elena: I’m not trying to save him I’m trying to save you.


• Damon: I’ll adopt the Stefan diet. Just nothing with feathers.


• Damon, tossing a football to Stefan: Don’t forget who taught you how to play this game.


• Damon: You’re pathetic when you’re fishing. Stefan: And you’re transparent when you’re deflecting.


• Elena: I’ll be with the two of you, I’ll be safe.


• Damon: Can I trust him? Elena: I’m wearing vervain, Damon. Damon: I’m not trying to compel you. Just answer me honestly—can I trust him?


• Damon: Give me the book, Stefan, or I will stab her in the neck and you and I will have a vampire girlfriend.


• Bonnie: You can’t go in there. The fire will take you out. Stefan: He’s my brother, Bonnie.


• Stefan: I’m not going to fight you. Damon: Why? I’d fight me. Stefan: Katherine’s going to play us against each other. You do know how this works, right?


• Damon to Isabel: You don’t come into my town and threaten Elena.


• Jeremy: Is it easier? Damon: Oh, it’s hard either way.


• Jeremy: I remember when my dad died I had a house full of strangers telling me how great he was. Tyler: Difference is, in your case it was true.


• Damon: If they’re not vampires then what the hell are they? Stefan: Maybe they’re ninja turtles.


• Damon to Jeremy: My father hated vampires too. Same reason yours did…Only it was 1864 and people knew how to whittle. (holds up Jeremy’s poorly carved wooden stake)


• Stefan: I was empathetic as a human and as a vampire all those feelings were amplified. Caroline: So you’re saying that now, I’m basically an insecure, neurotic control freak on crack.


• Stefan: You’re not gonna kill her. Damon: Don’t give me that goody-goody crap. Stefan: You’re not gonna kill her because I will.


• Elena: Damon, he’s Caroline’s dad. Damon: And when I kill him she’ll have one more parent than me and Stefan do.


• Damon at Klaus’s dinner party: Hey Stef, remember when you killed Dad? Might want to dial down the judgment till dessert.


• Daemon on the Mikaelsons: It’s not bad enough they’re moving into town, now they want a housewarming gift?


• Elijah: Mother made us vampires. She didn’t make us monsters. We did that to ourselves.


• Caroline: And that werewolf road leads straight to vampire boulevard.


• Daemon: Why don’t you just ask Ric if his dirty little doctor had access to the weapons. Alaric: You’re on speakerphone, dick. Elena: It’s not her, ok? I refuse to believe your luck with women is that tragic. Daemon: Who knows about your secret little slayer stash? Alaric: I’ve got weapons everywhere— here, my loft, the school, your car.


• Alaric to Damon and Stefan: Unlike some people in this room, I would like to take responsibility for the people I’ve killed.


• Klaus: Rebekah wasn’t even out of her box a day before she put a dagger in me.


• Rebekah: The Salvatores may fight like dogs but in the end they would die for each other. They know what family means. Klaus: I wanted a family. They didn’t want me.


• Rebekah to Klaus: But I realize that after a thousand years together as a family you’re the only one who’s never left me.


• Katherine: When Klaus shows up to kill us all, I’ll be in the tomb, where no vampire can enter because they can’t get out. I’ll be the safest psychotic bitch in town.


• Caroline: Do what? Be a vampire or be a parent? Because I can help you be a vampire. Abby: She’s better off without me. Caroline: No, no one is better off without their parent.


• Jeremy: When you find your sister unconscious you bring her to the hospital. Damon: Not when you have a parade of vampires at your disposal!


• Damon: I thought I could win her from you fair and square. She didn’t want me. It’s for the best. I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.


• Damon to Stefan: Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother alive?


• Damon: So do you want the cure because she’s a vampire and she’s not meant to be that way, or because you can’t love her the way she is? Because if I’m going to ride this fairytale to its conclusion, let’s be clear about one thing—I love her either way. So if we’re doing this we’re doing this for you, brother.


• Damon: You should’ve called Stefan. Elena: I don’t trust him right now. Damon, as Stefan walks in the door: P.S. I called Stefan.


• Damon: I don’t want to do this, Elena. I’m not the good guy, remember? I lie to my brother, I take his girl, I don’t wanna do the right thing.


• Damon, shooting Klaus: That’s for Carol Lockwood.


• Rebekah: Did that hurt, having someone you love drive a dagger through your heart? Stefan: Go to hell: Rebekah: Did. That. Hurt. Stefan: Yes. Rebekah: Welcome to the last 900 years of my life.

Comments

[bearshorty]

I just watched "The Half of It" last night and it was so adorable. I love friendship stories and weird people finding each other. And early awkward love.. And Elli did change - she got confidence to go to a good college not at home. In fact everyone was better off with the friendships. It was a sweet movie.

Fast and the Furious franchise only makes sense if you watch it as Brian/Dom story. There is some awesome fanfic out there. I will see if I can find you some links later if you like. I enjoy those movies for pure ridiculousness.

Edit: OK, I can't help myself - here is a site for you:
https://ship-manifesto.livejournal.com/48308.html

[tabacoychanel]

omg thank you for the link!!! <3

i don't think i agree that confidence was what she was lacking in the beginning, it felt to me she was just lonely and while the two often go together i don't think she felt, like, inferior to other people? merely not understood by them. but 100% agree it was such a sweet movie and it definitely allows for multiple readings!!!

[hamsterwoman]

The Half of It looks really charming! I need to see if L will watch it with me.

And if I can interest O in Shazam!

[tabacoychanel]

happy watching! they are both very charming movies and it sounds like you've picked the right target audience XD

[cafemassolit]

I have watched and liked the lesbian cyrano de bergerac! And not for the subplot on cute f/f crush, because I was mostly going like, is Aster that self-unaware or what lol. But if there was one thing I adored more than the himbo&lesbian brotp, it was paul & ellie's dad together. I think I teared up over that.

I have undying fondness for the vroom vroom franchise, it is possibly the only fictional sap about wholesome family values that I can eat up with a straight face. (i love the cars, the ridic chases, the boys and their faces and chemistry, the wholesomeness of something that has a frankly concerning quotient of tan women in booty shorts, and i love how unapologetically corny it is in its style). i cried a little over super corny but also super sincere send-off to Paul Walker in movie uuhh 6 or 7, whichever it was. It's not even my guilty pleasure, I just have no guilt about enjoying the hell out of them :D

[tabacoychanel]

paul + ellie's dad was EVERYTHING! i was listening to a chinese podcast (two chinese-american girls chatting in chinese about western media--they're chinese-american in the sense of being raised over there and coming here for college, not growing up here like i did) and they adored the movie (who didn't tbh) but they thought Leah Lewis's accent was actually better than Awkwafina's (which, fair, it was) and they thought the Paul/dad relationship was a the standout too. the FIVE SPICE TACOS ahhhh never getting over it

s Aster that self-unaware or what lol
yeah no i thought the same thing. mainly i think she was missing a point of reference for.... f/f feelings? small town and heteronormativity and all. but i never felt like she was lacking an inner life, merely that we (the audience in Ellie's head) didn't have access to it, which was an impressive feat.

[cafemassolit]

the existence of that chinese podcast just really warms my heart for some reason :3 and ofc i'm pleased they agree with my take on the dad & paul. cheek-pinchingly cute, that was!

wait, was awkwafinaa there?... confuzzle. or you mean her chinese accent in some other movie?

mainly i think she was missing a point of reference for.... f/f feelings?
nailed it *nods*

[tabacoychanel]

awkwafina stars in The Farewell that came out last year! it's a very relatable movie but not, i think, a GOOD movie in the sense that Greta's Little Women was unqualified good movie ykwim

[cafemassolit]

I see! it wasn't even on my radar, huh. I usually check out stuff like that. things on the tectonic lines between one's own cultures are fun in my books, so are asian-cast movies made in english language space.